17 Ways We Sabotage Our Own Happiness


Distancing yourself from your friends

If you’ve had unpleasant experiences in the past, “being treated with respect can actually be the thing that causes internal distress,” says mindset expert Heather Gray, MSW. If your idea of a relationship involves emotionally unavailable partners or friends, receiving attention and respect from someone can make you feel uneasy.

In some situations, people don’t trust a healthy relationship, expecting something bad to happen at any moment. “As a result, they’ll test a well-intentioned person,” Gray says. They might act distant, cancel plans, be grumpy, all “under the internal assumption that there’s a catch to someone’s kindness”.


Expecting the worst from yourself

Apart from expecting the worst from others and looking for ulterior motives for their actions, some people also see the worst-case scenarios when it comes to their own persona. It’s easier for them to deal with their own failures than end up being disappointed that something did not work out as envisioned.

It’s a way to cushion themselves emotionally but in the long run, you end up believing the worst about yourself and hating yourself for failing all the time. More than that, repeating it constantly will also make others see you the way you see yourself.

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