Hide your ‘financial personality’
Be honest about your approach towards money from the very start of your relationship. If you’re usually spending more money than you should, or, on the contrary, like to save for rainy days, it’s important to let your partner see you for who you are. Otherwise, you might set up your relationship for failure.
“You have come into the relationship as either a saver or a spender, and that will determine how you handle money,” Godfrey said. “You will feel your way is the right way and vice versa. Trust me, this will start a lot of arguments, resentment and stress. Explain your personality and how you developed it. I bet your parents and your upbringing had a lot to do with your present-day attitude toward money.”
Merging your finances way too soon
No matter how sure you are about your new partner, don’t get tempted into merging your finances from the very beginning. Merging finances is a serious step in a relationship. Therefore, until your relationship becomes serious and you are ready for long-term commitments, it’s better to keep major purchases separate to avoid problems in case of a breakup.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Carissa Coulston, “if you and your partner separate before the wedding takes place and you’ve combined all your funds into a single account, you could end up losing everything if your ex-partner spends every penny and leaves you high and dry.”
Income shaming
In most relationships, one of the partners earns more than the other. In a normal situation, this shouldn’t be a problem but, in some cases, the bigger breadwinner uses this as leverage. Remember, your goal should be to work as a team and not make your partner feel resentment and frustration. “When one person has sole control over the finances it creates an unhealthy control element,” says Angel M. Hoodye, MS, LPCS, CART, owner of Flourishing Hope Counseling. “The person that manages all of the finances has freedom and independence financially while the other person is dependent. This arrangement discourages independence for the person being financially abused.”
